In addition to it now being the most wonderful time of year to have an affair with your boss, ‘tis also the season for men to be criticised for not being very good at buying Christmas presents for their partners.

‘Without wanting to sound ungrateful’ writes Lindsay Nicholson, in an article in which she bemoans (among other things) the time her partner asked her for her shoe size, she lied, and he then bought her ill-fitting shoes, ‘without wanting to appear ungrateful, but with the planet and the economy firmly in mind, I have come up with a list of things I really don’t want to find in my stocking this year.’

Poor men! If I was one, I just wouldn’t bother going shopping in the first place, in light of the expectations placed upon me to be a miserable failure by this dependable Christmastime trope.

But here’s my official relationship expert line on it: if an inept holiday present from your partner is grounds to send you into a terrible funk, then perhaps it is not so much time for you to make a list of all the things he (or she) is not allowed to present you with, but rather to consider whether there are other tensions in the relationship that are being displaced in to the gift-giving ritual, because if you really love and understand someone, I simply don’t believe that a well-meaning but ill thought-out pair of shoes or piece of kitchen equipment are deal-breaking.

(And I think, in your heart, you don’t either.)

P.S. I’ve personally found that handmade gifts are the best sort to promote romance, because frankly there is just something very lovable about a homemade jumper or scarf, even if it is kind of misshapen or much too big. Although, come to think of it, all of the men I’ve made knitwear for have eventually broken up with me. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?